Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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