so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
