I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is wine microwaveable?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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