Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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