I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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