windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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