there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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