she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
