How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize