And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
