new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
