girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I believe in your delicious
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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