hell yes lets make some ravioli
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
