dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
MIDGETS
????
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
