ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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