Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
