ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
