mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
