Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
