How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
