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We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
