very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Randomize
