wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
there is glitter all over my balls
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