Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
