we need to drink 2009 down the drain
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
