dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
