please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
