Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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