3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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