Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
