well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
