I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
