Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
