I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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