the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
