Only a mothe r could love this liver
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
