I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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