we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
