I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
