Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize