you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
