Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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