So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
