Non-Jews are for practice
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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