And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
