I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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