so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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