Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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