He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
