i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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