If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
