first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
