Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
