Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
