I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
