I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
