Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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