I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
