if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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