Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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